Our Second Month in the NICU

We just recently celebrated Avalyn's two month birthday! 

It was two months here in the NICU on October 16th and I know that I say this EVERY time, but I still can not believe that Ava is here! This little girl has done extraordinary things in the past month and she never ceases to amaze me. She has continued to gain weight, maintain her temperature, and take her bottles. She is still working on finishing them at every feed, but I just know that soon she will be finishing them! There are only three more weeks until my initial due date and I just know that in these next three weeks my Ava Bug will be ready to come home with us. 

She was nursing, but I have not been able to produce enough milk to continue nursing her. So we have stopped trying because it was starting to cause me pain. Every thing regarding breast feeding and pumping has been nothing but a pain. I still try to pump when I can but this last week has been a struggle; I maybe get 5ml a day now. Pumping hurts me and I dread doing it. Brian and I have been discussing everything and together have decided that it is time to throw in the towel. I know that I have done the best that I can and have tried everything I could. Unfortunately I am just one of those women who are not able to produce milk. Everyone has been wonderful in helping me cope with feeling like a failure. Now, I know I am not a failure but sometimes things like not being able to produce milk for your baby is hard to handle. I am getting over the feeling guilty that I didn't keep trying (I mean, nine weeks is enough right?) and the feeling like a huge, complete failure and loser. Every day that I am with Ava I see her getting bigger and stronger and I know that that is because of the formula she is given. Thankfully she tolerates it very well and we have not had any issues in regards to her digestion. Her doing so well on formula has proven to me that formula is not evil; it is not the worst thing you could give to your child. Of course breast milk would be ideal (Ava even prefers it) but formula has in a sense saved my baby from low birth weight. 

Since Ava's update last month, we have learned that she is tongue tied, like her momma. I am tongue tied and had been having problems with it in regards to the skin that is attached causing my gums to recede on the bottom (behind my teeth). Because we are so concerned with it causing problems for her later, we are going to be talking to the doctor about what we should do. If the doctor suggests clipping it, then I am all for it! I don't want her to have to deal with the possibility of having any speech problems or any issues like me. 

She also has a high palate; which could be the cause of her not being able to finish her bottles. From what I understood with her having a high palate, she was having a harder time sucking so she would suck more and not get a sufficient amount from the bottle. Basically she was worker harder and getting nothing for it; which is why she would get so tired. So we are going to be experimenting with various nipples to see if that is the source of her problem. She also is pretty small still so that alone could be why she is not able to finish her bottles. 

Just this past week she has had all of her immunizations and we have filled out the forms for her car seat evaluation. All of those are signs that she is getting ready to come home! Now, we have no idea when the car seat test will be done, but the car seat is at the hospital and the paper work has been filled out, so it should be soon! Unfortunately I can not tell you exactly what is done during the car seat test, but I do know that they put Ava in the seat while she is hooked up to her monitors and then monitor her for an hour to see how she does. I truly don't think there is anything more to it than that. 

Other than all of that, our second month in the NICU has been rather uneventful (which is a very good thing!). We know most of the nurses either by name or by face, the receptionists know our faces, we have seen babies come and we  have seen babies go. Pretty soon our stay here will be complete and little miss Avalyn will become a NICU graduate. I can not wait for graduation day! It has been a very stressful and frustrating couple of months and the thought of my munchkin coming home is the one thing that keeps me going. Of course all of the support I have from Brian, friends, and family has helped out a lot as well. 

In the mean time, here is an adorable photo of my little pumpkin belly in her first Halloween costume!!