Avalyn's First Week.

I can't believe that our little angel is already one week old! 

She is doing amazingly well!

I can't believe that on this day a week ago I was seeing my baby for the first time! It feels like just yesterday! When I first saw my little girl laying in that incubator, I cried; not because she is a tiny, preemie baby, but because she is what Brian and I created and brought into this world. You would have thought that it would have broken my heart to see her connected to all of these wires and such, but it didn't. In fact, it has given me hope, especially since I know that my daughter is getting the best care that she deserves.

Avalyn has had a very eventful week! She has made so much progress that it blows my mind some days that she is only a 29 week "old" baby. 

August 16th:

I was given the opportunity to check her temperature and give her a diaper change (it was our first diaper change together!). She was not too happy about that and began to cry; that cry is the most adorable thing I have ever heard! Words can't describe it! 

I am also learning a little bit about her with each visit! Brian and I have learned that she does not care for having her feet touched and that she loves to stretch her legs out. She will fit in perfectly! 

We have also learned that she loves holding her daddy's hand. I simply love seeing Brian interact with her! She is beginning to respond to us so well! She cracks open her eyes at the sound of our voices. So far we think that she looks exactly like me when I was born, but it is hard to say who she will look like as she gets older. I am really hoping that she keeps her dark hair! I think that she has my family's chin, but it is hard to tell how long that will last. 

August 17th:

Brian and I went to visit Avalyn in the morning and were excited to see that she was no longer on the CPAP mask! According to her nurse, she had been breathing really well on her own with the few occasions that she had a sleep apnea spell. She had two incidences throughout the night where she forgot to breathe for a few seconds and her heart rate dropped, but she was able to correct herself; which was why the doctors agreed to take her off of the mask. In order to prevent this from happening again, they will gave her a little bit of caffeine to help keep her heart rate up in the event that she does have a little spell. 

She is very responsive to Brian and I and is starting to open her eyes a lot more. Because she has been doing so well, she will be starting her to get fed via donor breast milk until I am able to produce enough milk for her. 

At first I was really apprehensive about using the hospital's donor program because honestly, the thought of some stranger's breast milk being fed to my child kind of wigged me out. But the more I thought about it, the more beneficial it sounded. I want her to be given only breast milk and not formula; which can not be done unless she is given donor milk. 

Little miss also had her feet stamped! 

She really does not like her feet being messed with! 

We also had the opportunity to hold her for the first time! I had never been so happy! There is nothing like being able to hold your child for the very first time. When I had delivered her I wasn't given the opportunity to have those first few moments of holding my newborn because she was so premature at delivery. So being able to hold her like this was that moment for me. It was definitely one of those moments that you won't ever forget. 

August 18th:

Day three was very tuff for me because it was the day that I was discharged from the hospital and had to leave my munchkin behind. It was such a bitter sweet day because I was so happy to be getting out of the hospital after three weeks (23 days to be exact!) and because my sister had flown in to stay with us, but yet I was so upset to leave Avalyn behind. I couldn't fathom doing normal things again without thinking about her. It was such an exhausting day, but on the positive side, my breast milk had come in and I was able to start providing my baby with milk; granted it wasn't much, but it was better than nothing at all. 

August 19th:

Coming home was awkward, being home was awkward, and getting back into the swing of things was awkward. It felt weird being home where it is quiet and no one comes into your room throughout the night to check on you. I did get hit pretty hard with the baby blues and felt that I was struggling to find a peaceful sleep. I will admit that there were a few moments when I would sit there and cry over not having my child with me. Thankfully Brian was there with me throughout it all. We printed out some photos of Ava to hang up to help make things feel more real; I still couldn't fathom that I had delivered a baby. 

Brian kept my mind off of things by putting together Ava's changing table; I helped him out the best that I could (I mostly just sat on an ice pack and handed him the parts he needed). It was actually a lot of fun! I did have to stop and take a nap half way through the process because I was just so exhausted! It amazes me how exhausting just sitting there was! It still amazes me how exhausting doing anything was! Delivering a baby (of any age and size!) is hard work and takes an awful lot out of you without you even being aware of it. I couldn't believe that even two days later I was still so tired! The changing table looks amazing though! I was so excited when I woke up from my nap and saw that it was put together that I just couldn't wait any longer to fill it up with the start of our cloth diaper stash. 

August 20th:

When we went and visited little miss, we learned that her oxygen levels were lowered because she had been doing so well with her breathing. Her food intake went up from 5cc to 11cc and she had become a little Jaundiced so she had to "bake" under the lights until it went down. We were told by the nurses that she is a feisty little baby and hearing that put a smile on my face; to me that just goes to show you that she is a fighter and is incredibly strong. 

I think that she is looking more and more like her daddy! Her hair is getting lighter; which of course, I was hoping that it wouldn't! We are also learning that she sleeps like a rock like her daddy and drools like her mommy. Ha! I love watching that little one sleep! She makes the cutest and funniest faces and sounds!

August 21st:

During our visit we learned that Ava's Jaundice levels went down and her food intake went up from 11cc to 14cc! She is digesting the breast milk with no problems (she just has to be on her belly).

August 22nd: 

Ava was taken off of the lamps, taken off of her oxygen, and I GOT TO HOLD HER! :) Because her Jaundice had gone down significantly, I was able to hold her Kangaroo style; the Kangaroo Hold is when you hold your baby skin to skin. 

Holding her against my skin was the most wonderful feeling in the world! (I know, I say that a lot!) Feeling her little body against mine finally made me feel like a mother; she needed me and I needed her. We kept each other warm and she fell asleep on my chest as I talked to her and Brian gently rubbed her back. I wish we could have stayed longer! 

I wish that we could have stayed like this forever!

August 23rd: 

This was our longest visit to date and I loved it. You wouldn't think that you could feel so happy while being in a hospital, but this visit pulled me out of the funky postpartum mood I was in that morning. Brian and I had gotten to the hospital just as Ava was getting ready to eat so before anyone could hold her we had to wait an hour for her to finish up with that. Before that we were asked if we wanted to change her diaper. I wanted Brian to do it so he could get the change to change his first diaper, but he didn't feel comfortable doing so with her being attached to all of the I.Vs and wires. Totally understandable! So, naturally, I said I would do it...boy was I in for a surprise! That little girl had blown out her diaper and had poo all up her back! I had no idea someone of that size could do such a thing! Of course, being mom, I didn't mind one bit. I did feel bad though because after changing her initially I had thought that I had gotten everything, but when the nurse went to flip her onto her belly to eat we learned that she had gotten poo everywhere. Those blow outs can be super tricky! I was a little embarrassed about missing some poo considering I am a pro at diaper changing (I used to work at a daycare!), but come on, changing a blow out on a preemie who is in an incubator?! That was tuff. 

After she ate it was Brian's turn to Kangaroo hold little miss. They both looked absolutely adorable together and I can tell already that she really loves being in her daddy's arms. 

She is still doing extremely well and nothing has changed except that she has gone from 11cc of food to 17cc! Before we know it she will be a little chunk! I can't wait! I am really hoping that she will get to come home by the beginning of October; I want to have her home in time to dress her up for Halloween! Honestly, I can't wait to be able to dress her up in general! Once she starts packing on the pounds we will be able to put her in all of the adorable clothes that everyone has given us. 

This week has been life changing not only for me, but for Brian as well. Our little girl is now our main priority and we will do anything for her. It truly is amazing how becoming a parent can do that to a person. I can't say that I love motherhood because I haven't really been given the chance to experience it, but I definitely can't wait. I have been told that it will be tiring and exhausting all of the time and you know what? I am totally okay with that. :) I am ready to take on the sleepless nights, the sore breasts (already experiencing that), the being home all of the time, etc. because it is all for her. If I am not tired and exhausted then I won't be doing my job correctly. 

Here is to another productive week of Avalyn growing stronger and stronger! 

p.s If you have been following me on Facebook, all of this is probably repeat news considering I keep my FB updated daily. :)